Well, I know that you dun like short term relationships and yes I’ve put that into my head. But sometimes you see, there are too many things that are happening around me that have started to change my mindset already. On the issue of me saying, why aint my girlfriend like the rest of the other girls, I wish to sincerely apologies. Hun, i dun mean to say that. What I really meant was, is my girlfriend ashamed of me? I’ve never assumed that you treated relationships lightly and I don’t want to have this mindset as well.
Now, about the issue of the people around you knowing how u feel before I do is a wrong assumption from your side I guess. I read your blog all the time, observe how you react to certain things, watching your emotions from the moment I meet you until the moment I leave your side for home, i’ll all know. But sometimes, I really don’t understand whats going on you see. Like what I said, regarding the previous issue on you being angry on the LT issue. I –thought- we already settled it on that day itself. But who knows that you were still angry until that day. I knew what was going on before you told me what happened, but you told me they weren’t the cause when I told them to you. I seriously didn’t realize anything wrong, even when we were dating. Everything seems to be alright but deep down your heart I don’t know that you’re hurt. I can’t say its your fault but I guess you did manage to drop some hints? Im sorry if I didn’t catch those hints. But sometimes dear, tell me when I don’t seem to understand some things. I promise I’lll try hard to understand things but please don’t tell me ’nothing’ when I I ask if you’re alright. Its just unfair to me if you say nothing and just keep all the hurts to yourself.
And regarding your friends, I understand whats going on but I can’t seem to accept it right now. As for this issue, I shan’t say much but all I ask is, more time for me to adapt? Thanks.
For the next issue, I claimed that you’re not treating me the way I think you should is a total misconception again. I didn’t mean that you’re not giving me enough time. I know you sacrificed your time with your buddies, sec school mates, girlfriends and even your closest pals be it in class or outside friends just to be with me cause I’ve planned a date. Boy, am I Glad that I praise God for such a sweet girlfriend but sometimes, I get unnecessary hurts as well. Like what you would agree with me, dating won’t help when both of us have grudges with each other but kept inside our hearts. Eventually, either one will blow up and things will be worst. Perhaps now I know why we tend to already quarrel when we just met. Up till this point, I only once again ask that we always confess our partner’s faults to each other immediately or after the date but not after a long long while then we say it alright.
And I really didn’t regret working with you in FnB line and im deeply grateful that u decided to accompany me as your boyfriend as well. But all these days, all I see is one long black face from you. I talk to you, I get a dull response or, maybe no response. I thought you were down, then turn my back around, I see you laughing like normal with the kitchen people. Sometimes, I really don’t understand. I ask why, no respond from you. Perhaps there is, “nothing much lah”, “really nothing much”, or the plain old “nothing”.
Now, about rest, sleep and gaming? I always try to pei you when I can, online. As long as I know I’ve passed my own limits, I go to bed. Sometimes I don’t and insist to accompany you online despite me being tired, but you chase me to bed anyway. Your boyfriend can’t can’t can’t wake up on time. I have like 5 alarms each day for 8am classes but im never able to wake up fully by them. I know this is my fault but, dear, please understand that sleeping is inevitable ? I have draggy lectures like 3 hours each on some days. And by saying this sentence, I don’t mean that I have draggy lectures and it is your fault that you don’t allow me to sleep much nor do I mean otherwise. I hope I didn’t get a misconception on your point on this topic itself. And as for gaming, what else can I say? I only game when u’r working or when we don’t have dates. But once you come back from project days or work, ill be online once you give me the cue to do so or something. I really apologies if there were some occasions I’ve neglected you while I told you im playing game. I just want to let you know that I’m giving my all for this relationship as well. And it hurts just as much when we have quarrels.
I know you feel that I’m neglecting you at this moment of time when I didn’t even ask for a reason when you wanted a break from all these that are happening because I jolly well know that something is wrong. All I wanted is you, to take sometime off and catch up with your friends. Chill a little, when you think you’re ready to talk things out, we can then meet out to talk again. And one more thing to add on on why I didn’t even wanted to ask for a reason is, remember the last night you picked me up from work? “when I don’t want to say something, don’t force me to say okay”. The moment you said that only left me heartbroken and shocked on what really happened. And hence why I didn’t wanted to ask for a reason. Maybe I should have? I dunnoe.
Im glad the first piglet I bought for you made you very happy and contended. Ever since the first piglet I bought for u, I had a vision of being a piglet collector just for you. You may say im nuts and crazy but im doing all these just for you dear. Perhaps I don’t really know what you want sometimes because im just not sensitive enough on catching hints on this area? But there are a few things that I wanted to buy already, I don’t wana mention them here unless you want me to. (: And perhaps that the reason why I keep buying piglets for you? Im going to use the same old reason of, I just want you to be happy. That’s all.
I know I just told you to go to submit the form yourself but for now.. I think lets just talk out everything tonight. What I yearn for now is just you by my arms again like we were before.
James 5:16 (New International Version)
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
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